Friday, December 30, 2011

Classic TV Shows, Updated

What would they look like today?

The Raffleman: a single father and his son play the lottery and enter raffles obsessively; in each episode, the two solve problems using their Lotto-ticket skills.

Gunsneak: a crusty Western Border Patrol officer cleans up the Old West by smuggling advanced weaponry across the Rio Grande -- on Federal orders! Marshal Holder; "Doc," the meth-brewing entrepreneur; and Miss Kitty, the hard-drinkin' Treasury agent (under cover as a saloon-girl) with a heart of brass.

Manic: the adventures of a steroid-abusing Ohio policeman, fired for over-the-top hostile behavior, who becomes a private detective and doesn't get hit on the head nearly often enough.

The Honeymooners - Intervention and The Honeymooners - The Biggest Loser: A reality show twofer! In the first series, bipolar, spouse-abusing bus driver Ralph is confronted by his wife Alice and friend Ed, a city sanitation worker, and promises to take his medication and attend counseling. In the second, Alice has left and Ralph struggles to lose weight and stay on his meds, roping in poor Ed with various grandiose schemes.

The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits: In-depth reporting on Congress and the Presidency.

14 comments:

Tango Juliet said...

HA!

Tango Juliet said...

I've often wondered why every female within 100 miles of the Ponderosa hadn't packed their petticoats and run for the hills. Every time a Cartwright boy took a fancy to a gal, she was deader n' doornail 30 minutes later.

Turk Turon said...

Dr. Midas Welby - small town doctor who refuses to register for Medicare or Medicaid and treats poor patients for free. Accepts only gold from his patients who can afford to pay. Refuses to get a DEA license and gives patients prescriptions for pain medication anyway, telling them they can have the Rx filled at the local DEA office.

Robert said...

Land of the Lost...

No change necessary other than putting the Slestac in spiffy uniforms and replacing their crappy crossbows with metal detector wands.

Blackwing1 said...

I'd have thought "Have Gun, Will Travail" would have been a natural...

Guffaw in AZ said...

Mission Ridiculous - Your mission, Barak, is to intentionally tank the economy, in the interest of fairness and income redistribution, with a goal of the entire World attaining the level of say Zimbabwe, with attendant 'rights' removed as necessary.

Rev. Paul said...

To complete Guffaw's plotline:

"As always, if any of your team is caught or killed, the main-stream media will disavow any knowledge of your actions."

docjim505 said...

Star Trek: The Next Generation - A multicultural crew, commanded by an erudite, scholarly Frenchman, takes the family-friendly starship Enterprise on missions of peace and exploration, solving their problems and conflicts through negotiation, logic and compromise.

Oh, wait...

Murphy's Law said...

The Brady Bunch - Follow along as members of a small but annoying group work to disarm law-abiding Americans by taking lots of George Soros cash and working hand-in-hand with a federal government that is simultaneously arming Mexican drug cartels.

Old NFO said...

Um... weren't a couple of those on last year???

davidc said...

Petticoat Justice ! Where a schoolmarm turned gunfighter dispenses with rough lawbreakers on the frontier while riding on the train.

Anonymous said...

Scooby Doo: in every episode, politicians warn of a monster and they need billions of dollars to fight it. Turns out the monster is just Goldman Sacs board members stealing the money. Liquidity Crisis! TARP! Global warming!

Anonymous said...

Bonancy: A woman from out west goes back east to make money in congress.

Rawdeal: Cowboys are paid off at the end of their ride, only to be disappointed at what is left of their paychecks after social security, income tax withholding, and health insurance.

Canon: A fat photographer goes around raising everyone's consciousness by eating large meals in politically correct restaurants??? (Sorry - that one just kind of got away from me.)

No gun, Won't travel: stories about a timid, stay-at-home widower who refuses to "Get Involved" because it is against the rules.

The Good, The Bad, and the Appearance Disadvantaged: I have no idea what this one is about - I lost interest as soon as I read the title.

Dragnuts: a comedy series about a guy and his partner going from bar to bar, looking for complementary peanuts.

BlogDog said...

Sugarfoot - the adventures of a PoMo cowboy seeking treatment for his diabetic leg ulcers.