Thursday, September 06, 2012

Stolen Gnome

Went out on the front porch last nice to check the mail and noticed toadstools in the yard, courtesy of our recent rain; walked out for a closer look and when I turned to walk back, realized something was missing.

I have had a little gnome in a Rocketeer-style jetpack on the porch for several months. Not any more. Either he finally got that thing running, or Persons Unknown have absconded with him!

How low -- and bold -- does someone have to be to steal a plastic garden gnome ($40 if you're down with Amazon Prime) from a well-lit front porch, a porch frequently inhabited by the well-armed Tam? --And where in creation does one pawn such a thing?

Tam thinks he was nicked while she was in Knoxville. I think his departure is more recent; either way, it's not a good sign for the neighborhood.

25 comments:

Peter said...

If he was stolen while Tam was in Knoxville, it must have been because he was gnome alone . . .

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

I dunno about bad for the neighborhood. I'm thinking "kids will be kids".

'Cos like you say, where would you pawn it? :)

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

I dunno about bad for the neighborhood. I'm thinking "kids will be kids".

'Cos like you say, where would you pawn it? :)

Turk Turon said...

Well, you got a Garand in the house, doncha?

"Get off my lawn."

Srsly, I don't remember a gnome.

Dale W said...

Maybe someone is a foreign film fan

"Amélie"

Maybe you will get some pictures of your gnome from far away places...

wrm said...

> it's not a good sign for the neighborhood.

Yes, when the garden gnomes start leaving, things are going downhill fast...

NAVIGATOR said...

DID YOU ASK YOUR WATCH CATS WHAT HAPPENED?

Robert Fowler said...

Been any UFO sightings around the circle lately?

Wayne Conrad said...

Traveling Gnome Prank?

Bubblehead Les. said...

Just a Stalker, wanting something to drool over?

Or someone from the Vast Wing Leftist Conspiracy sending a "Message?"

Either way, you might get the chance to do some Ballistic Testing soon.

Bubblehead Les. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ygolonac said...

Perhaps it was a recovery mission...

No Gnome Left Behind

Anonymous said...

Gnome Relocation Services is a noble profession. Look in the yards of nearby houses of worship....

Gewehr98 said...

The little doober saw his chance, once Tam left, to go on a walkabout. ;-)

MattB said...

Heh. If it was kids or Sumdood, may I suggest replacing the gnome, and placing him on top of a pressure switch connected to a) a couple of M-80 firecrackers nearbym or b) a sound chip that plays "GET OF MY FRICKEN LAWN" at high volume from the porch (bonus points for using Clint Eastwood'd voice) or c) a 150dB siren. I WAS going to suggest a Claymore, but thought that might be a bit too messy.

Anonymous said...

I saw your blog from a friend of mine posting it on her blog and i wanted to share with you that i saw a video the other day on the news in which someone decapitated the head of a virgin mary statue one night in this woman's yard, then came back a couple of nights later and left a gnome in it's place. you may want to check and see if it's yours.

The Freeholder said...

I'll observe the Intertubz. If we start seeing pictures of a Rocketeer-equiped gnome in exotic locales. we'll have our answer.

Charles Pergiel said...

a "little gnome in a Rocketeer-style jetpack"?!?! I'll bet somebody thought that was just too cool to pass up and grabbed it because, I mean, they don't sell 'em anywheres local.

Bob in Houston said...

I'm betting one of the local stoner kids probably has a "new" Rocketeer Gnome shaped bong by now.It seemed to happen to about half the manger scene baby Jesui in my neighborhood back in the day.

Cormac said...

It's so obvious.
Earl Harbinger needed a hand with something.

Man, tall people is stupid!

Anonymous said...

There is probably a female gnome in heat in your neighborhood.

He'll be back in a few days.

Gerry

Dave H said...

Aw, he's probably out exploring the Midwest, walking every highway, playing his guitar and singing "Don't Fence Me In."

(You thought I was going to say "Gnome on the Range," didn't you.)

Either that, or somebody filched him. It's sad to think that some people can stoop so low.

Anonymous said...

Obviously your Rocketeer needed cover. There’s a guy…
http://www.etsy.com/shop/thorssoli

Brigid said...

I think some gnomeboy from a couple neighborhoods south of you snagged him.

Nothing like a jetpack equipped yard ornament to give you street cred.

Larry said...

So the view from the porch is less one gnome now...