Eagle Creek Park in Indianapolis is one of the largest city parks in the United States -- 5,300 acres of trees, lakes, paths and...deer.
Too many deer. They're eating the underbrush clear; they're nibbling on saplings and eying the larger trees. And they are wandering onto roads and endangering drivers.
The answer, of course, is a controlled hunt. It's what our State Parks do when the problem arises, as it does with some regularity. Nevertheless, the city is expecting some protest from witlings who cannot figure out that we are the sole remaining predator of deer (give or take a very ambitious bobcat -- and even the non-ambitious ones are vanishingly scarce here). Lacking predators, deer will breed themselves into starvation; it's what they do. The time to control them is before they leap through the windshield of your car, trying to get across the road to polish off someone's flowerbed.
(Indiana does generally get it -- there's even an "urban deer season!")
Is it mean of me to hope local media will have a camera at the public hearing, so I can watch teary-eyed fools pleading for the poor innocent widdle baby-waby deers? Look, they're real cute but they're not even as clever as goats, and we've got too many of them for even their own good. (Deer, I mean; bleeding hearts, too, but there's no hunting them and no use trying to make them any smarter than goats, either.)
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
4 months ago