Pizza Guy 1, Bad Guys 0

     Don't try to rob pizza delivery drivers in Indianapolis -- they find it objectionable.

     The tl;dr version: two choirboys took it on themselves to relieve a delivery driver of pizza and, presumably, cash.  One of them, a mere 15 years old, made the request at gunpoint.  Pizza delivery guy shot first; his young assailant is in the hospital, en route to jail.

*  *  *

(To a familiar, molluscian, tune:)

"Piiiizzzza time has come
With pepperoni please have some
But please don't steal the pizza
Not the drinks or the car or the tip
(Just don't be like they are)

"Come on baby
(Don't steal the pizza)
Baby, take one slice
(Don't steal the pizza)
No anchovies, don't cry
(Don't steal the pizza)
Baby, it's here in my hand

"La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la

"Pizza pie is almost done
Here, but not quite gone
Pepperoni and mushrooms
Altogether just too yummy
(Pepperoni and mushrooms)

"40,000 pies delivered every day
(Some pepperoni and mushroom)
40,000 pies delivered every day
(They define happiness)
Another 40,000 selling every day
(Please don't steal the pizza)

"Come on baby
(Don't steal the pizza)
Baby, take one slice
(Don't steal the pizza)
No anchovies, don't cry
(Don't steal the pizza)
Baby, it's here in my hand

"La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la"

     (And so on.  I forget where guitar solo goes.)