Thursday, June 28, 2012

See, They Wouldn't Take "No."

So let's try, "Hell, NO!"

Correspondence reproduced vebatim, except the names have been changed and links removed to make it of negative utility to the sender.

--Oh! And to protect the guilty and the innocent alike.

Roberta X writes:

A) This is probably going on the Internet. Parts of it already have.* All links will be removed and names will be replaced by aliases.

B) What part of "Since you have so little regard for my work other than as a means to your end..." are you failing to understand? Money, barter, whatever, don't want it. I find the firm you purport to represent less charming than a barefoot encounter with a squashed dog turd on a sidewalk in August.

YOUR OFFER: DO. NOT. WANT. I WILL NOT LET YOU LEECH FROM MY TRAFFIC, NOR WILL I ALLOW YOU TO PUT LINKS YOU CONTROL ON MY BLOG. I try to treat my readers as something other than a resource to be exploited. YMMV, but not on a website I control.

Get -- as I have now said, what, thrice? -- lost.
* From my blog: "I Do Not Allow Guest Posts. Ever. Nor will I put your links in my posts. Sending me e-mail requesting either -- and most other blog-marketing 'services' -- will result in it being publicly mocked in a way that will not help your traffic." Goodness, think of the trouble you would have been spared if you had taken even five minutes to do a little reasearch.

--- On Thu, 6/28/12, Paste Eater wrote:

From: Paste Eater
Subject: Re: [Somekindofscam] The Adventures of Roberta X Partnership
To: "Roberta X"
Date: Thursday, June 28, 2012, 12:34 PM
I apologize for the inconvenience. I would like to point out that there would be no money involved, we are just trying to work with you so that we can benefit each other in getting closer to reaching our goals.

On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 7:54 PM, Roberta X wrote:
You obviously failed to read the sidebar of my blog, where this is explained. Since you have so little regard for my work other than as a means to your end, why should I treat you with any greater consideration than, say, a lunatic handing out religious tracts at the airport?

MY BLOG AIN'T FOR RENT. Neither are the eyeballs of my readers. This is a my hobby. H.O.B.B.Y. My employer is in the eyeball business. There is no way I can ethically aid your site's SEO efforts even if I wanted to, which I don't. Get lost.

And tell your pals to get lost, too; I get an inquiry note from a "Some Kind Of Scam" shill approximately monthly and they never, ever understand plain English saying, and I repeat, "Get lost."

I ought to bill you for my time.

--- On Wed, 6/27/12, Paste Eater wrote:

From: Paste Eater
Subject: Re: [Somekindofscam] The Adventures of Roberta X Partnership
To: "Roberta X"
Date: Wednesday, June 27, 2012, 11:49 AM

Thank you for the reply, I'd really appreciate a minute of your time to learn why this is not of interest to you.

On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 3:43 AM, Roberta X wrote:
Get lost.

--- On Tue, 6/26/12, Paste Eater wrote:

From: Paste Eater
Subject: [Somekindofscam] The Adventures of Roberta X Partnership
To: email
Date: Tuesday, June 26, 2012, 6:13 PM


My name is Paste Eater and I work on the business development team of Somekindofscam, an unbiased comparison engine founded by Smoker Of Dead Mice In A Merschaum (founder and former CEO of AnnoyingPopUps) and backed by Satan Himself with 10M unique visitors per month.

We are working with large online publishers including Worm-Eaters Digest, Snuffington Post, UnderARockCEO, and offer a variety of options to integrate our highly engaging content with your site.

For example, we could add a Guns Comparison that would live organically on your blog. Users can interact with these tools without ever leaving the site. We even have comparison for Federal Firearms Licensees, Best Guns Safes, and more.

I’d like to set up a quick call to discuss similar partnership ideas with you and would greatly appreciate 10 minutes of your time.

Please suggest a couple times that work best for you or let me know if you would like me to send some more information before you make time for a call.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Business Development, Somekindofscam
phone: (000) 000-0000
skype: Eater of Paste

Somekindofscam, a powerful tool for making quick and informed decisions.
Follow us on Faecesbook and Twerper.

[same thing three more times, as he fails to manage nested quotes.]



TriggerFinger said...

I received an identical message from these people to my blog admin address. There may be a human at the other end, but it's still spam. It's not "we did careful research and picked you to approach" (though that would still be spam); it's explicit bulk email, probably to some sort of "all gun-related blogs" list.

I didn't bother to respond, just dropped them into my spam folder.

Keads said...

I have started to get the same kind of crap. ME? Really? Are they that hard up to come after me? You I could understand.

Well played!

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I think that same guy wants to partnership with me!

Mark said...

Hmm, don't hold back tell us what you really mean.

Robert Fowler said...

I never get these. Maybe my spam filter catches them before I see them. Of course my blog is sooooo big. (insert eyeroll)

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Some people just don't know how to take no for an answer.

They sound like 419 spammers.

Bubblehead Les. said...

And my friends keep saying, "Why don't you get a Blog?"

This Crap you are dealing with is one of my Main Reasons.

Tam said...

I even got the "Thank you for your response" email, which was funny, because I had never responded to them.

DirtCrashr said...

I had a link there for a while but I was unimpressed with the graphics of their widgetry and especially their business sense, and so on a whim removed it. Three different "Directors of Business Development" in only a few months - and nobody passed the file-folder on to the next guy. Bad Cop, no doughnut!

Anonymous said...

It's so good I have to copy it, so I linked the copy too.

Roberta X said...

Bubblehead Les: "crap," yes, but also, free content for me! It's not a bug, it's a feature.