Monday, May 05, 2014

Read The Fine Print

     The Mexican Mole Lizard has a somewhat disappointed expression, and no wonder-- Picture it, the Day Before Creation, all the little blob-like proto-critters receiving their assignments: the Pink Fairy Armidillo has already got hers, and is bobbing up and down with excitement, imagining tutus and magic wands rather than a career spent eating bugs in the desert.  Now the Hand of Fate turns to the next one, holding a contract.
     "Oh, wow!  I'll be a sleek, partially scaled critter, with hands and arms and a long tail and a kinda-handsome, person-like face?  I'll be under the surface most of the time?"  He signs with alacrity, and turns to the puggle-to-be beside him, "Dude!  I'm gonna be a merman!"

     Well, no; you see, Bipes biporus, the Mexican Mole Lizard doesn't even get to be a snake that can open doors (and thank goodness for that: "Bing-bong, mole lizard calling!"  No thanks). They're about the size of a large pencil, and hunt for scaled-down edibles underground.  They do have convenient little forelimbs -- and a permanent expression of mild chagrin.


Anonymous said...

The Pink Fairy Armadillo is adorable, in a we-made-a-mistake-hiring-H.R.Giger-to-design-Muppets sense of the word adorable. A wittoo cutie death metal hamster, who wonders why the children won't play with her and be her friend.

Mike James

Robin said...

That was hilarious.