"Any Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti or closely related species presenting itself to any government agency, shall, upon declared intent to seek gainful employment, be granted vouchers for A) depilation, B) orthotics (if needed) and appropriate footwear and C) (if needed) corrective lenses."
That'll get 'em outta the forest. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure the last traffic officer I met was a Yeti-American.
INDIANAPOLIS HAMFEST, 2015
1 month ago