Friday, March 29, 2013

If I Win The Lottery

     ...Especially if I win one of the really big prizes (for which the odds are so lousy that my not buying a ticket doesn't materially reduce my chances of winning -- someone could give me a ticket, or I could find one), at the big-deal winner's press conference, when they turn the mikes on me I'm going to be so tempted -- so terribly, terribly tempted -- to say just one thing:

     "Twenty thousand dollars to the first reporter who punches another reporter in the throat!"

     Man, there is way more than $20,000.00 in entertainment value in the first fifteen seconds alone.

     (Yeah, I'd feel real bad about it later.  Just awful.  But how many times have they shoved a mike and a camera in some grieving person's face, standing at the scene of some horrible calamity, and droned, "How do you feel?" milking the moment for cheap sensation.  It kinda begs payback.  It feels like a punch in the throat, is how it feels, okay?)


Shermlock Shomes said...

If I won the lottery it would be The Magic Christian all over again.

Dave H said...

Now you did it. I'm going to go buy a lottery ticket.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Uh, I advise against it. Do you really want to be caught in THAT crowd?

It's like being on the Wrong Side of the Fence in the Lion Pit during Feeding Time.

But it would be a nice thing to see, I must admit.

From a distance.

rickn8or said...

Roberta, thanks for the first LOL I've had in a while.

Anonymous said...

Two beautifully savage women under the same roof! The very best of blessings upon Rosholme Cottage!

Jennifer said...

That makes me want to send you lottery tickets.

-When I can't read the numbers on the Captcha, I always say it's '42.' Today's number is 4224. The Google, it knows. The word is oftyHow which I shall attempt to work into some conversation.