Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Modest Proposal

...This one may Swiftly get me in a lot of trouble. Or it may get me friends I don't want, which is just as bad. --Like either of those is anything new?

Courtesy of Mike-istan (RTWT!), I encountered this piece of, of, eww, "writing" by one Robert Smith, Junior writing in the Detroit News, of which the headline tells the tale: Ban All Guns! Yeah, that'll work -- it's been such a success in United Kingdom that their normally-low rate of firearms deaths has been on the rise since the ban! (Look it up yourself; overall rates in Britain, Scotland, N. Ireland, Wales, etc. are still lowish but the trend's backwards to what the gun-grabbers predict).

Mr. Smith makes much of the tragically high death rate of young, urban, African-American men; and he's right: that group of citizens have a huge lead on any other demographic slice of the polity when it comes to getting shot and doing the shooting.

...And since we're being all practical and common-sense, since men of wisdom like Mr. Smith assure us the presence of guns is to blame, let's put our energy where it will do the most good and save the hardest-hit group first: Disarm All African-Americans!

What, that doesn't sit too well? Makes you feel a bit uncomfortable? Seems rather, oh what do they call it, racist? But golly, it's based on the very trends Robert Smith points out. Don't you care about the price these young men are paying with blood?

I know! Let's draw the line in a less-sensitive place! It's mostly young, urban males that are shooting one another, so let's ban guns in big cities!

That's got to work -- after all, it's been such a success in Chicago, right? And in the District of Colombia and New York City? No? Young black men (men of every hue and age, in fact, plus no few of their sisters; what most of 'em have in common is a criminal history) are still shooting one another even in cities where it's double-plus ultra illegal for minors and felons to buy and carry guns?

Golly gee. How unexpected -- I mean, they have got laws 'n' bans 'n' everything on his Christmas list! And you tell us the perfect fix is a total gun ban, Mr. Smith? You'll go house-to-house, will you, and round up every one of the estimated 9 guns per every ten adults in the U.S., and it'll work, will it?

Sure, just like Prohibition removed all alcoholic beverages from distribution; exactly like The War On Drugs has wiped out the scourge of marijuana, the menace of crack, the horror of heroin, as it has ended the manufacture and sale of crystal meth and the abuse of prescription drugs... Just like those things, your Ban All Guns effort will "succeed." And considering just how many of the firearms deaths (not to mention the deaths by stabbing, beating and being run over) of young men of every color are cited as "drug-related," it seems likely that putting all guns in the same category as the common or garden variety crack rock will make guns an a even more lucrative item of underground commerce -- and even more young men will die over them as well as by them.

I dunno. Seems to me there might be some teensy, weensy flaw in this plan.

Update: Codrea has his own, more succinct take on the article. Yeah, gun-banners? What he said goes for me, too.


Anonymous said...

The flaw is the plan is YOU. You're a big meanie and you WANT all those people to get hurt!

Wait; nevermind.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed man, M'lady. You both get filthy, and the pig likes it. people like this cannot be reasoned with. Ever.

Anonymous said...

But it made him *feel good* to write the article. And after all, isn't that was really matters in this country these days?


Anonymous said...

"...people like this cannot be reasoned with. Ever."

True, but they should still be mocked mercilessly and loudly, ruthlessly deconstructed, laughed at, held up as horrible examples, and excluded from polite company on the grounds of being d*mn fools.

We (meaning, "western society") have allowed advocating fascism to become consequence-free, provided it's in the name of "the children," "the poor," "the minorities," "the environment," or the current cause-of-the-week. It's long past time to stop excusing it in the name of good intentions.

Ideas have consequences, and our mission should always be: to ensure that bad ideas lead to bad consequences for the idiots who push them.

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, delicious snark. Really. It was a delight to read.

Word verification "recoust": to settle MN's senate electoral recount farce once and for all in plate armor, on horseback with lances...

Crucis said...

"Nine guns per ten adult males..."

That's way too low. I need to buy more to move that ratio to more like 10 to 1, that is 10 guns per person.

Anonymous said...

Now don't go trying to apply logic to "the war on guns" or drugs for that matter.

Anonymous said...

Looks like you've covered all the points, but sadly, you'll never convince those that want to disarm you because (deep down) they're afraid of what they themselves might do.

Next time you encounter one of these "Ban ALL the guns" type, tell them "Okay. You got your wish; now go to (insert name of Local Bad Part of Town) and start collecting them. YOU, not some gummint employee."

Happy New Year, y'all!

Roberta X said...

Crucis is correct; it's nine guns for every ten citizens.

Heath J said...

Mighty fine snark there!

Good post.

Heath J said...

[quote]Crucis is correct; it's nine guns for every ten citizens.[/quote]

Can't be.

I've got WAY more than 9 guns per person in this house, being just the Wife and I.....

Molon Labe!, if you dare, Mr. Smith....

Anonymous said...

This is a common argument with anti-gun people: "Outlaw guns and only outlaws will have guns." Yeah...the outlaws that kick my door in, mug me, etc. And now I am disarmed, and the police can't get here in time. So, I guess I just have to take what the "disadvantaged youth" dish out??

Bite me. The people that write this stuff live in a fantasy land.

Anonymous said...

And I like Neo-Victorian. They have manners.

Anonymous said...

"True, but they should still be mocked mercilessly and loudly, ruthlessly deconstructed, laughed at, held up as horrible examples, and excluded from polite company on the grounds of being d*mn fools."

Well, yeah, that. For sure.

Anonymous said...

Ban all guns only applies to the average citizen not the Super citizens who currenty walk around the metal detectors or those who can afford private security people. Those people can be trusted. Why? There just better than YOU! Even in the rare event one is arrested often its "house arrest" or an abrieviated sentence. Pish posh you commoners don't know your place.

Jim said...

Since you refuse comments on the good Boxing Day take about trolls and assorted other wipes -- I'll note here that you're mentioned and now linked (as though you needed another one) at

....lovingly if obscurely known as The McGee Reader.


Tam said...

"...This one may Swiftly get me in a lot of trouble."

I see what you did there.

Ed Skinner said...

Don't forget Australia: there's a good summary of their 12 month experiment at

(Think I'll go to the range today.)