Tuesday, December 16, 2008

So Wrong -- And, Yet

"Oooo," says the TV weatherbeing, as my alarm-clock television blares on at oh-dark-hundred, "there's some very baaaaad Winter weather on the way! We'll tell you what do do about it after the commercial."

Laying in bed, half-awake, blinking sandy-eyed at the bright colors on the tooobe, I snarl back, "Here's what to do about it: start staking weatherpeople out over anthills until they can fix the weather!"

Wrong on two counts, for which I blame the early hour; the ants are inactive when it gets this cold (in the effing teens!) and we'd want to be staking out real meteorologists. But so very tempting withal!
Durn it, Al Gore promised it would be warmer. I had my swimsuit an' everything.


Somerled said...

This time of the year, the standard anthill torture can be replaced with the frozen-pipe-licking method. Waterboarding is so lame nowadays.

Rob K said...

Algore better get off his butt and get me some warmer winters soon. I had to drive home from Carmel (~50 miles) in this crap tonight. I think I got to 50mph twice. There's nothing as maddening as iced-up wipers swishing back and forth.

Anonymous said...

I fear torture wil be of little use those weather people are a hardy lot. Evidenced by there propencity to expose themseves to huricane wind contaminated flood waters sub zero tempuratures for the "shure is bad out here" reports. No I don't think they would fold easily.
Word verification: twoogr, what my coworker said after licking our flag pole, I didn't think he would do it. OOPS