Thursday, March 17, 2011

To The Newsie's Health

After a far too heavy recent diet of television newsthingies, I have decided the best thing to do -- perhaps the only sensible response -- if for each of us to buy one of the TV newreader/reporters a bottle of Moxie. Maybe even two.

...They need it badly, y'see, 'cos it was touted for years with the advertising claim that it prevents softening of the brain. Oh, sure, it's years too late for most of 'em at the network level, but maybe -- just perhaps -- it'll keep 'em from getting any worse.

This morning on CNBC, a muddleheaded anchor asked an (anti)nuclear expert what he thought about "...Japan's desperate move of using helicopters to drop water cannons on the reactors...." Even Joe Anti sat there a moment, stunned. Gads, what an image.

More Moxie, Nurse -- stat!
My dinner tonight: A slice of hot apple pie a la mode, washed down with Fentiman's Dandelion and Burdock soda, both from Locally Grown Gardens. 'Cos I can. Yeah, it's probably wrong. But it tastes just like Summertime.


Anonymous said...

If the Moxie doesn't help them, we can cram the cans down their throats, which will help us.


Roberta X said...

These days, the stuff is most usually sold in long-neck brown glass bottles like beer bottles, the kind hams call "cold 807s." All the better for this application, perhaps?

Ancient Woodsman said...

Good old Moxie is too fine to waste on the likes of them.
Moxie is wonderful stuff. I've enjoyed it since childhood.

There is no finer beverage on the hottest day of the year, especially if it's been a haying day.

Not the same stuff as the Moxie energy drink, though, which is some horrible concoction that bears no resemblance to the original - more like a Red Bull mixed with STP. Maybe you should offer them that instead of the original.

Roberta X said...

I dunno -- is it as efficacious against softening of the brain?