Monday, June 29, 2009


Update: Check out the comments! Reader James E. Griffin -- clearly a lost son of Wile E. Coyote -- offers up a detailed plan to keep the good time rollin'. I was giggling before I 'd read a quarter of it. I can see the Acme-brand gadgets already!

It's not quite Schadenfreude when a friend rings you up to announce, "I've got a batch of croissants rising and my oven's conked out," for all that it is a delight that comes from another person's bad luck.

Fresh from the oven -- I'd never had but cold ones -- croissants combine the best features of fresh-baked bread and flaky pastry, hot and soft and flavorful. She and Tam and I ate a couple apiece before any of us remembered our friend had brought a delicious salad, too. A mild rosé on the side and you could not ask for a better meal!

The repairman's scheduled for today or tomorrow to fix our friend's oven. Is it okay to be feeling a little wistful regret at that?


James E. Griffin said...

OK, here's the plan, electronics geek to electronics geek - nobody else read this so "friend" doesn't get suspicious. And we may have to distract Tam, so nobody tell her.

Basically we're gonna modify a separate modern electronic oven control to receive imput from the oven's own controller, and use some micro transmitter-receiver units.

Bobbi-X obtains requisit number of micro reciever/transmitter units, and said modern electronic oven controller and grafts on one of the micro receiver/transmitter units. Then modifys our controller to accept programming from the oven's own controller. And since we're wireless, our master controller doesn't have to be mounted into friend's oven. Bobbi-X knows about RF boosters.

She further modifies our controller with a receiver/transmitter unit communicating with a string of such units to Roseholm Cottage.

Now for modifying friends oven controller. Shouldn't be hard for Bobbi-X to find out what kind of controller friend has and get the same kind of unit to practice our modifications on.

If electronic, the concept is oven controller transmits to our master controller, then only tells oven what to do if our master controller transmits back it's OK command which it always does, unless told not to by a signal from Roseholm Cottage. Bobbi-X knows how to do such wiring. She'll have to practice a covert install.

If the oven controller is a rheostat, we'll need another electronic controller which Bobbi-X modifies and conceals in friends oven. She'll be able to work wiring to rheostat on the concept remove rheostat/break circuit, install rheostat/connect circuit.

To distract Tam at the right time. I go to NRA museum and extensively photograph both their Pre-War and Post-War K22 Masterpieces. I send them to a Bobbi-X friend electronically, after changing one number of the serial numbers to remain within production series numbers, which I do in Photoshop. I'm sure Tam has every Smith serial number in the NRA museum memorized. Bobbi-X and her friend with the images of K-22's will know how to concoct a distracting Tam story involving a K-22 for sale, and how the HELL do we tell if it's Pre or Post war, what exactly do I look for, how someone could try to deceive someone else, etc.

So, next time Tam house sits for friend, agent Bobbi-X tags along and implements the plan. Remember, Cerberus was bribed with cake.

Turk Turon said...

Bribe the repairman!

Brigid said...

I have placed a super secret device already stolen by the Chinese on my oven to detect any tampering.

I'm out of scotch tape now but my plan is assured success unless you have figured out how synchronize the cardinal grammeters.

Til then I await the stealth repairman who apparently had a personal problem with his capacitance directives and lost his way to my house again.

Roberta X said...

Ya shoulda fed him the first time he showed up, Brigid -- it would have burned the route to your farmstead into the deepest parts of his brain!