They all start out offering me some wonderful opportunity:
"Link to the site that does X" (in which "X" is usually something you can get Bing or Google or Wolfram|Alpha to do if you tickle them correctly. So why bother?).
"Get a free review copy of my book!" (No. Tell me where I can buy it and if the price is within my budget, I will review it; I think getting a freebie instead of paying for it affects my ability to give a fair review. I've done so once and I lucked out, it was a good book, but I'm not chancing it again. If you shy away from that, then maybe you need to sit down and do some editing.)
"Slip in links to our
"Let me write for your blog and slip in links to
Gosh, I miss Burma-Shave signs and ciggie ads jammed in the middle of paperback books; this new way of advertising is like havin' snakes wanting to get all snuggly.