So, this morning Tam tells me, when I wander into the Computer, Command & Control bunker here at Roseholme, fresh-won cup of coffee in hand, "You got blog
all over you!" (And for a perfectly logical comment, too -- chronotemporal stability is everyone's
business). Being slightly more vain that a cat, I went to look and -- yet again! -- Amazon's Scariest Pick popped up in the sidebar:[CLICK TO EMBIGGEN]
Yes, it's a Monkey Peeler
. Eeeeeeeee! All right, where's the chunk of software thinks I have some dark, deep-seated urge to peel monkeys, and what band of whackjobs is actually sellin' the hardware to do it with? Man, that is just so wrong.
The same brand (Animal House) also sells a, um, toucan opener.
Do you have to blanch monkeys before peeling?
Blanched Monkeys? Sounds like a good name for a punk rock band.
In Where England Used To Be the Monkey Peelers wear tall blue helmets and badges.
Hey, OT and all, but Crankylitprof seems to have taken her blog private. What's up widdat?
The rest of their lineup shows equal creativity for making otherwise pedestrian tools a little more organic.
That is on the same order as gal leg spurs, gal leg nut crackers, and other supposedly humorous items people give those they do not know well enough to give an appropriate present.
Of course, I have gotten plenty of such items. The spurs are on my motorcycle boots - where they provide far more risibility than the donor contemplated. A spurring motion accompanying a sharp twist of the throttle gets some strange looks.
The nut crackers are in a bowl of in shell pecans on the coffee table. Where the preacher and his wife can disport themselves - until they realize what implement they are using.
Almost any such item can be put to practical use. Provided the cheap plastic does not give way at the first attempt.
Monkey Peelers: monkeys in British cop uniforms. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Never fear. As Tam has pointed out, even if the TSA strip-searches you, they are not allowed to touch your monkey.
...but can you use them to shave big monkeys at Menards?
O'shucks! you just made me look, in looking, I ordered.
Cheap on eBay.
I couldn't resist!
I'm weak I know...
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