It is not to be believed. Today, I have a dental exam at the earliest possible time, followed by an eye exam with barely time to get from one to the other. I hadn't realized they were on the same day until last week.
Naturally, on Friday my employer announced an all-hands-on-deck staff meeting starting about a half-hour before my usual shift.
It's not an art, it's a natural gift.
In the meantime, h'mm, how about some really, really bad travel advice? Probably SFW outside the UK, but you may attract attention by giggling loudly.
5 months ago