Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The Muck-Jumpy Man* Among Nations

North Korea's puttin' a bombworthy nuke plant back together again, for the, what? Fifth time? Seventh?

The crazed weenie that owns that country is like the very worst sort of bum: the unwashed, reeking gent who parks himself on your front stoop, threatening to relieve himself in the mailbox unless you give him a dollar to go away.

The problem, of course, is that he always comes back. Just like North Korea. Sure is a pity we can't just turn a fire hose on 'im.
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* From an apocryphal Great Depression tale about a bindlestiff who shows up at a farm on a sweltering August day and offers a quarter if they'll let him take a dip in the cesspit, since he's just a dirty bum and it's so hot. After he's got himself good and soaked, he plops down on the porch to dry off and the farmer's wife tells him to go, he's had his dip. His reply? "That'll cost you five dollars!" Kim Jong-Il wants a little more but it's the same scam.

4 comments:

DirtCrashr said...

The thing about peeing boulevardiers and mailboxes is the latter can be rigged with a bit of 110 juice to make a zappy personal connection and provide some entertainment.

phlegmfatale said...

Brilliant analogy.

Somerled said...

Perhaps Dear Leader Kim Jong-II is anticipating the election of Sen. Obama, who would then send Madeleine Albright for an encore shimmy in Pyongyang's Rungnado May Day Stadium.

She could bring another basketball, this one signed by the Shaq, and ante up a set of clubs personally blessed by Tiger Woods. She dances well, and Kim is a hardcore basketball and golf fanatic.

D.W. Drang said...

After all those years dedicated top ensuring that north Korea did not come south--or vice versa,depending on whom you ask--this may be the best description of north Korea's approach to international relations I have seen.