Sunday, August 16, 2009

Cash For This Clunker?

Hey, "Cash For Clunkers" is a wonderful program, one that reduces the supply of cheap, working-but-crappy cars (just like the ones I drove when I was poor and still drive today, since I can buy them for cash) while increasing indebtedness, as people use their klunkersgeld* as part of the down payment on heavily-financed Brand! New! Cars!

Yeah, it sucks. Also, there's this book Tam and I keep in the loo for emergency reading, The World's Worst Cars [Amber Books, 2005], and in it we find the following description of one of the worstmobiles, "...[C]heaper and more ordinary-looking than previous offerings. ...[I]t looked stupid.... The only saving grace was the beautifully ornate interior. ...[S]uffered from horrendous turbo lag. It was slow off the mark, then the V6 engine's twin turbos could kick in with dramatic effect. Coupled to the rather crude chassis, this made it prone to terrifying oversteer, especially if the turbos came on in mid-bend." Still, the book reports 25 mpg and you wouldn't think a Maserati Biturbo would end up on the C4C scrap-heap no matter how bad it was.

You would, of course, be wrong.

(Bonus! Link is to a CNN video that opened with an ad for Bank of America that talks about their tremendous tools. The term is dead accurate, based on the telephone conversations I had with them after they jacked my house payments way up: I met up with tremendous tools all 'round. Refreshing to encounter that kind of honesty in this day and age, really).
* A word in no language ever used on this planet, at least as far as I know. Kinda catchy, innit?


perlhaqr said...

The page title for that link should be: "Video -- Heart Breaking News from CNN"

The sheer waste of the C4C program makes me cry.

Shit! I said I was going to stop being emo in your blog comments. Damnit.

Turk Turon said...

Klunkersgeld is perfect!

You are an ace neologistician.

And an ad for the program would be...wait for it... klunkersgeldspiel!

Turk Turon said...

And a radio ad for the program would be:

Jeffro said...


Somewhere, a crappy old pickup truck cries out in fear.

Home on the Range said...

The new cars? I had the fine luck of getting this GM product while at the academy for a course. It had specially designed windows that blocked all upcoming traffic. The seat had all the comfort of the ski lift at Crystal Mountain. Merging was like the running of the bulls at Pamplona, even with my foot to the floor it wouldn't accelerate to get out of the way without the transmission moaning like a disinterested hooker.

And that was the BEST of the new GM cars.

Should have just let them go bankrupt.

rickn8or said...

I wouldn't bee too concerned about the CferC having that much effect on the used car market; in about six months the lots are going to be full of repo'd low-mileage Obama-mobiles.

Like Brigid, I'm not impressed with the '09 and newer GM products, but I DID buy an '08 peek-up this weekend, while what money I have will buy a vehicle, instead of breakfast at the drive-thru.

And somehow, these paragraphs contradict each other. Oh, well. Innn-ter-esting Times Ahead.

Mad Saint Jack said...

There are also charities that take cars as donations that will be SOL because of C4C.