Monday, October 13, 2008

Ideas: Good, Bad

Good Idea: Bruce Lee Kung Fu movies
Bad Idea: Robert E. Lee Kung Fu movies
Badder Idea: Brenda Lee Kung Fu movies
Worse Idea: Geddy Lee Kung Fu movies

Good Idea: Batman
Bad Idea: Ballman

Good Idea: The Lone Ranger
Bad Idea: The Strange Loner

Good Idea: Spiderman
Bad Idea: Centipedeman. Earthwormman is even worse. ("We'll drive him to the surface -- with electricity!" gloated the Fisherman, his arch-nemesis).

...It's probably a good thing I don't write scenarios for comic books. (It did occur to me today that soap operas and anime have much the same scripts and themes; one could take audio recordings of "Days Of The Young And Restless Guiding Light," animate to them, and make a mint sellin' em to fans! ...Or not).


phlegmfatale said...

That did it, I suspect. Any sane man with two firing neurons would be in love with you after this post. You're fabulous, darling. I wish I were half so clever! Thanks for the giggles.

Roberta X said...

Aww, shux! Would that I had even half your style and class, sis.

Somerled said...

Good idea: Senior White House Press Corps member Helen Thomas vs. these guys in a Shuai Jiao (Chinese Wrestling) grudge match.

Turk Turon said...

There was a super hero on Saturday Night Live called Antman. His superpower was that he could shrink himself down to the size of an ant while retaining his full human strength. *yawn*

The movie Mystery Men has some excellent ones: Pencil Man and Pencil Boy ("We erase crime!"), The Waffler (with his "Griddle of Justice") and Ballerina Man.

Quigley said...

Any sane man with two firing neurons would be in love with you after this post.

Well, I have the two firing neurons but the sane part went away quite some time ago. Rats; I hate it when that happens. ;)

This is a really fun post and I am still chuckling. Thanks!

WV: hoxgtd (hog tied?)

Anonymous said...

You left out a couple:

Good Idea: The Lone Ranger
Bad Idea: The Strange Loner
Badder Idea: The Loan Arranger
Worse Idea: Pissed off Tonto

Home on the Range said...

Oh my - I laughed so hard at this. And it got me thinking to some of the really bad superheroes they actually try to lob at us.

Remember Shaquille O'Neal as "Steel", a junkyard metalworker-slash-inventor whose non-lethal weapons are rejected by the military (hm, that explains why pillow fighting the Japanese in WWII never got us anywhere). After a accident, blah blah blah, he dons a suit of extremely tacky armor and takes after the bad guys. The armor was a problem in that he sounded like a car with a broken transmission downshifting into third whenever he walked down the blog and the bad guys just laughed at him.

Then there was Condorman. Swooping in with his overly tacky costume (which included the most inconspicuous hang glider in the world) to defeat evil because evil is laughing too hard at this moron to care.

And lastly - the Phantom. He was a big guy back in the day, a lead in to Indiana Jones/Lara Craft with Jungle roots and dual .45's. But face it, a big purple guy in tights, is well, a big purple guy in tights. There's just no getting around the familial resemblance to Barney.

Anonymous said...

Geddy Lee Kung Fu movies

Hey, I'd rush right out to see that! Geddy Lee in moving pictures? Sweet!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Turk Turon said...

John, you better not be here when Roberta gets back.

Roberta X said...

Dear John-robot-whose spamment -has-been-deleted: nobody likes a machine that talks about stiffies. It ain't fitten.

ATTENTION SPAMMENTORS: I work in the media, I am heaviliy armed and I hang out with attornies. Also I know where the "enable comment moderation" button is.

Roberta X said...

--Gads, you guys are a remerakbale archive of the really bad real superheros of the past! Coolness.

Jed: just for you, then, Cathy Lee kung fu movies. With her sidekick Regis. Ewwwwww!

Dr. StrangeGun said...

"Robert E. Lee Kung Fu movies"

HOLY CRAP. Band name!

Confederate Zombie Kata!

phlegmfatale said...

Aww, shux, yerownself! :)

Turk Turon said...

Best Band Name I've Ever Heard:

Kathleen Turner Overdrive