Thursday, May 10, 2012

Liquid Diet

That's what I'm on all day, prep for a medical test. Yeah, yeah, I'm told most folks over 50 know the drill.

I'm just happy that I like popsicles, Jell-O, beef broth, coffee, tea and $LEMON-LIME SODA POP. Alas, no creamer in the coffee, not even the least cream-like of powdered whitener; those purists (cough*Tamara*cough) who accuse me of "adulterating" my coffee will no doubt find new ammunition in the small amount of water ("Pure spring water, Mandrake") I add instead.

Update: Oh, Web, what joys doth it bring: looking into the history of Jell-O (with Postum, part of the original General Foods junta), I encountered the parallel (and quite independently-developed) Australian product, Aeroplane Jelly (!). They offer what should be the preferred dessert treat of the "Occupy" movement: Wobble! Shirkers of the world, dig in! --Wotthehell, everyone else, too; it looks mighty fine. (Which reminds me: there used to be chocolate Jell-O. Wish there still was. I'm gonna have to buy some of the unflavored and experiment. Add choc syrup, y'think? Or mix up cocoa powder and sugar with the cold water?)

23 comments:

Tam said...

Why anybody would dilute the flavor of the precious nectar of the bean is beyond me. I think that those people probably do not love Our Lord as much as I do, either, and might have secret Wobbly leanings.

Roberta X said...

And their Essence is Impure?

Nathan said...

I'm with Tam. I've never understood people who don't infuse themselves with the clear quill. But that's probably due to the influence of my father, who made no bones about the fact that if I was going to start drinking coffee (this was at the tender age of 11), I was going to drink COFFEE, not sugared milk with coffee flavoring as preferred by my older cousin Steve (with whom we were having breakfast at the time). Since Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a pale copy of my father and I did not want a smack upside the head as a learning reinforcement, I obeyed this dictum :)

But more importantly: Is this the preparation that ends with a quick quaff of magnesium citrate? That stuff is the worst.

og said...

When you drink enough coffee, you need something to tone it down lest it dissolve your stomach lining. By pot #5, I'm putting in some cream myself.

Jello. I once spent two weeks in LeRoy, New york, the ancestral home of jell-O. I have seen old film footage of how Jell-O was made. I have never eaten jell-O voluntarily since.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I like my coffee like I like my men. Hot, strong, and black.

Tam said...

"When you drink enough coffee, you need something to tone it down lest it dissolve your stomach lining. By pot #5, I'm putting in some cream myself. "

You'll never build up a callous that way. ;)

Tam said...

NJT,

I like my coffee like Louis Farrakhan: Black and bitter.

Drang said...

Tam: I wasn't aware that ulcers developed callouses...

Ordinarily I only adulterate bad coffee. Since taking up residence in Seattle, though, I have developed a taste for the occasional mocha latte. (Even Charbucks admits that no one knows how or why "moka" got associated with chocolate.)

Dave H said...

I wouldn't use chocolate syrup to flavor anything, at least not the common Hershey's variety. It's got surprisingly little chocolate taste to it. (I tried it in potato candy at my manager's suggestion, since he likes chocolate with his peanut butter, but there was no chocolate flavor to be found. I'll stick to grated dark for that.)

Maybe some creme de cacao, or Godiva chocolate liqueur?

og said...

"You'll never build up a callous that way. ;)"

yeah, just a wimp, really. But then, at least I don't eat Jello.

Nathan said...

When you drink enough coffee, you need something to tone it down lest it dissolve your stomach lining.

I've found that eating food once in a while helps :)

Roberta X said...

What, food?!

Roberta X said...

Og, it's boiled down hooves and worse. But they moved the factory to Dover, Delaware in '64 and the vats are all covered now. Way less stuff to filter out. Yum!

og said...

lol. I've seen a movie of the factory in operation. You just keep telling yourself it's hooves and worse, and you'll probably be able to keep it down just fine.

The factory in leRoy was shut down when I was five, but when I was there it was still (Mostly) standing, I crwled through a hole in the fence and walked around.

later, I wish I'd had a firearm with me, but i made it back..

I have eaten it since, but only when forced to, like you are now. I'd rahter eat Dibblers sausages.

Jeffro said...

Just went through that particular test last month.

May your toilet paper be soft and the path to the bathroom clear!

armedlaughing said...

What Jeffro said!

I've been through it 3X - turned out NOT to be what they were thinking (they still practice medicine - some day they'll get it right!)

As for coffee - I'm libertarian, do whatever trips your trigger!
I prefer cream or half & half. Good Luck!

Guffaw in AZ

Anonymous said...

Heh. Coffee. Hey, Bobbi, see if this torc's Tam's head-- Tamara, dahlink, youse krechin' over CREAMER? I have seen true evil in the world, and it must be fought! Satan, I name thee......S-A-N-K-A. !!! O:-). JohninMd(help?)

rickn8or said...

"You just keep telling yourself it's hooves and worse, and you'll probably be able to keep it down just fine."

That's why that particular aisle in the grocery store is dead to me.

And Roberta, I hope you go through all this for nothing.

kishnevi said...

No Red jello, of course.
I've had that test (if it's the one I think it is) enough times that I can recite the warning verbiage the doctor spouts by heart. (High risk=every other year for the last twenty years or so) which is kind of scary come to think of it. It's this evening's agenda that is the hard part. Tomorrow will seem a piece of cake (helped by the sedatives they give you just before the test).

Hope everything turns out fine.

And I agree with Tam, although I usually say I like my coffee raw and naked.

LabRat said...

See, you say, "hooves and worse", and I think happily of good old-fashioned bone stock. Which damn well should set like Jell-O when cooled, done right. That's not ick, that's the sort of stuff you pay three times as much for as a supplement in a capsule.

Gelatins are a simple protein matrix. Whatever dissolves best and most thoroughly in the liquid format, will work best as flavoring. I'd bet on the cocoa and sugar, but you'll have to experiment with your proportions. I'd also think to add powdered milk.

Dwight Brown said...

"Aeroplane Jelly" also sounds like something that would be right at home with Marinetti and the Futurists.

John A said...

"Alas, no creamer in the coffee, not even the least cream-like of powdered whitener"

Well, it is a solid - but so is cocoa powder. Heck, so is coffee. Which is why, when I go in later this year for the 5-year colorectomy(?), instead of using the horrendous "flavors" offered to mix with the gallon of crap I am supposed to drink to purge solids, I will use some other thing (probably "raspberry lemonade" powder) to make it somewhat drinkable. And no, I will not ask the foctor or nurse if that is OK...

Roberta X said...

Just as long as it isn't red or purple, they seems to be okay with it. 7-up might be too "supercharged."

I did the Gatorade mix, one that was radiator-fluid yellow-green and one that was pale blue. Results were, um, colorful.