Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Duck! And Cover!

Remember the (shelved 'til 2012) Red Dawn remake that the studio decided needed to have the PRC replaced by North Korea, so's not to offend a major possible market? (Ponder that awhile).

Turns out there's another reason not to cast PRC in it: there aren't nearly enough nukes in the story to match the real thing.

Yes, while the U.S. and the Russians have been beating nuclear swords into useless, glow-y plowshares (at least we both got some nice booster rockets), China's been digging tunnels and stuffing nuclear-armed missiles into them. Um, just in case; why, they've even promised never to shoot first.

I think we should send Dick Lugar over there to give them a stern talking-to. I'm sure it will work. And if not, hey, at least he'll be over there.

Vernor Vinge, humanity sure could use Bobbles about now.

6 comments:

maddmedic said...

Ummm
No thanks.
I'll rewatch the first one.
And it is not because I do not recognize any of the actors in the remake...

But then I do not watch TeeVee nor take in many movies these days...

Divemedic said...

So China has 3,000 warheads? I hope all of us like eggrolls. They are using our money to build a military that will likely be the next to rule the world.

docjim505 said...

Ditto Divemedic.

We've got a few choices:

1. Isolationism so that nobody feels any need to shoot at us (goodbye, Taiwan and Israel and Western Europe and Japan and perhaps Australia and New Zealand...)

2. Dig a bomb shelter, stockpile food and arms, and get fitted for a face collander to survive a post-apocalyptic US wasteland

3. Learn to worship our Chinese masters

4. Sigh, bite the bullet, realize that such security as we can hope for lies in a robust military and intelligence system, and go back to playing Team America: World Police for real. Hellooooo, 1949....

Comrade Misfit said...

The DPRK is going to invade us? How, exactly?

The premise behind Red Dawn was pretty laughable, given that the Russians had never demonstrated the capability to carry out any kind of air/sea operation of a significant magnitude. But it was still a fun movie at the time.

Spartacus said...

Better hurry if you want to send Lugar. He's got a shelf life that going to expire in a bit over a year.

Awelowynt said...

"disguised passenger rail cars to move China’s long-range missiles"

Makes me wonder if the trains that nobody rides are empty for more than one reason.