Claire says it's been "put on hold," but Dear Ol' Uncle Sam, mindful of the hard times occasioned by this here dep-, um, reces-, ah, that is, "minor economic downturn" and the impact of facing another holiday season still (unless you're one of the luckier or better-connected employees of a .gov) makin' what you made in 2008 -- if you've got a job at all -- in that very tender light, the benevolent an' ever-loving fed.gov that feels your you pain, empathizes with your frustration and weeps the exact amount of tears specified somewhere in the CFR for each and every sparrow that falls, plop! on the corpse of a matchlessly quick-frozen Little Match Girl iced solidly to the stone under which a caryatid has been crushed flat, tryin' to pay off her home loan -- yeah, that fed.gov has done A Thing To Help Cheer Your Ungrateful Self Up:
They levied a tax on Christmas trees, the real grown-in-dirt organic variety.
On Christmas trees.
Oh, frabjous day!
Outcry followed. Wow, who would have thunk? It would have been a pittance -- fifteen of those base-metal-core cents -- but it was a pittance too far. Or at least it is so far.
Looks like this year, Uncle Sam won't hit you up for pocket change. Next year? I dunno. Maybe they're hopin' by next year,Occupy Christmas will have us all sleepin' in mangers and eating hay. Or maybe sleeping on hay and eating managers, which seems to be more the general intent.
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
6 months ago